My name is Marge, and I am a cat. This is my story, or perhaps it’s simply a collection of my reflections on the world as I see it. Whatever the case, the view is mine. Argue if you must, but this feline will most likely ignore dissenting opinions. You see, that’s what we cats do, we ignore stuff.
My earliest memories are of the streets. I was what humans refer to as feral, or without a domestic residence and an “owner,” a term that is offensive to cats. Silly humans, they think they can possess and control their feline companions. That’s why I am writing this book, to clear up that misconception.
You raised an eyebrow, did you? I can, in fact, write a book. I have photos to prove my keyboarding skills, and I have other critical literary gifts. Let’s get back to my early days and how I became a domestic goddess!
I was one of six in my mother’s second litter of the season. Incidentally, the term “litter” is also offensive to cats. Why can’t we be called a “pride'' as our more massive relatives are known? It’s much more fitting. My mother was overworked, yet she was dutiful in mentoring her young.
I never knew my father.
My few short weeks with my mother afforded me some critical survival skills. My silence and stealth is unrivaled and I am good with my paws as you will learn in the chapters of this book. My napping and grooming habits are superb. I have turned leaping and hiding into art forms. Yet, she failed to teach me one cat skill perfected by most. I cannot hunt. Nor do I need to hunt because I have become domesticated. Nevertheless, it does leave a weak spot on my resume’. My options are limited to “indoor companion,” while a skilled hunter might add “mouser, bird chaser, and outdoor forager” to her list. Alas, I was “rescued” before I had the opportunity to hone my hunting skills.
Rescued. Now that is a term humans use a bit too freely. I’ll share my experience in an early chapter of this book.
Thank you in advance for taking time to peek into my world. I dare say you’ll find it different than the average human perceives, for I am a cat and I know things.